I can’t believe it’s been almost one year. Looked at the guest book (www.marybarrett.com), and was overwhelmed again by the amount and variety of people touched by her life, and her music. What a precious child of God.
Lies
I’m currently listening to NewSpring’s “Five Lies of the Devil” series, and you should too.
“God will never put more on you than you can handle.” Sounds nice, doesn’t it? It’s a lie. We misquote the Bible, you know, like Satan does every time he uses the Word. We take 1 Cor 10:13 exchange a word, and leave out the last half of it so we’re left with a lie. How many times has that lie been passes to another as Truth? It is contrary to the rest of scripture. It is contrary to the very essence of Christianity. We CANNOT do it on our own.
If God never put more on us than we can handle (the scripture actually says that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear) then we would not need him. Situations that are completely overwhelming to us, that are heavy, despairing, defeating, cause us to look to him for help. The rest of that scripture says that he will provide a way to endure…God is that way. Those situations force us to put God on the throne where he belongs, and makes us realize how out of control we are which can make us angry at God. It is frightening to not be in control. The truth is we’ve never actually been in complete control, but we often have the illusion of control until something happens to tell us otherwise. So, do we blame God and get angry at the other One who can pull us through? Or do we reach out to the only One who can pull us through? We do have control over our choices.
This whole series is reminder of how important it is that we actually know what the Bible says. If we don’t know the Truth then we cannot recognize lies when they come. Satan doesn’t come with his pitchfork, and pointed tail yelling sulfurous obscenities. He comes disguised as an angel of light. His lies are often so subtle that we don’t even know we’re being lied to, and often the lies are from within the church because we don’t accurately handle the Word of God.
Psalm 86:11
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
On Freedom
Can freedom (Biblical, personal freedom) ever truly exist in one’s life? I’ve heard and believed all my life that knowing Christ, who is the ultimate Truth, will set us free. I’ve known Christ, and at times incredibly intimately nearly my whole life. I have also known addiction, people pleasing, fear, depression, rebellion, immense pain, unforgiveness, struggle, sin, disobedience, anger, self-hatred, and doubt. Some would say it is because of the fall. So, did that annihilate freedom? Can it still be found? I’ve known people well that seem to live in this freedom every day. They have won the battle with alcoholism, heartache, or sexual promiscuity. They have had real life struggles, and today they seem filled with joy as if those things never happened, yet when asked about them they are still very near in memory, and sometimes in pain, perhaps even regret. Still, they seem to possess something of freedom that I do not. Why?
Perhaps it is how we define freedom that makes the difference. I certainly do not believe the Bible to tell us that freedom is escape, be it from pain, or rejection, or trouble. In fact, it told us the complete opposite: “in this life you will have trouble” (John 16:33a). Yet, it also tells us that “….where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom: (2 Cor 3:17).
Webster defines freedom this way: the quality or state of being free: as a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another: independence c: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous d: ease; facility e: the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken f: improper familiarity g: boldness of conception or execution h: unrestricted use
I often wonder if the people who are all smiles, all laughter and no tears, and seem to have Romans 8:28 tattooed on their forehead are really living in freedom, or are they just hiding their pain? In denial about their shame? I believe them to be some of the most addicted (to pleasing others, to hiding, to coping through denial-we all have our addictions), and lost of all because only in coming face-to-face with the reality of our failures, sins, hurts, shame – our broken humanness – can we then allow freedom to rise up from within those places. I heard it said that when it was asked of a monk why the Scriptures say to write the Words of God upon our hearts, and not in them the monk replied, “Because only when our hearts are broken can the words fall inside. “
Bolded are the definitions I find to be most accurate in the Christian life; in any life, but it only comes through relationship with Christ. If I am free from addiction then I have been released of the need for it, I am not coerced by it, nor am I constrained by it. It no longer holds power over me; I am not enslaved to it. The last bolded statement is what I believe to be the response by one who has experienced this freedom.
I believe one who is free to be painfully aware of one’s own failures, addictions, self-serving desires and actions, aware of one’s own woundedness, humanness and utter need for One greater than oneself, yet not to be enslaved to the addiction or hurt, not needing it to survive or to cope, being out from under its power – that is where I believe authenticity arises, and you are then able to truly be “frank, open, and outspoken.” I don’t mean outspoken like a protester, but outspoken in that one no longer has the need to hide parts of oneself, to feel ashamed, to be different on the outside than the real self on the inside, to present outwardly to people that which is only perceived as being acceptable, loveable, forgiveable.
I suppose I’m having trouble coming to terms with the fact that freedom does not mean that I won’t, possibly for the rest of my life struggle with the same things over and over again. Why else would Paul declare in such frustration that he does the things he doesn’t want to do, and can’t seem to do the things he knows he ought to do? We dare not say that Paul wasn’t “free,” and still his struggle remained. What if, church people, the thorn in Paul’s flesh was lust? What if it was depression? What if it was doubt? Would we still see Paul as this ever-faithful, never-doubting, always enduring Saint?
I wonder if God did not leave the thorn in Paul’s flesh ambiguous in His Word because we all share that thorn in one way or another. We do not know the reason for the thorn. Oh, sure we can speculate that it was to keep Paul humble or to teach him some sort of grand lesson. Whatever the thorn (or thorns) you or I may have I know one thing to be for certain: it stands as an ever-present and painful reminder that I NEED JESUS. I need him to lean on when the pain from the thorn is too intense. I need him to heal the wound around the thorn so that I do not react out of pain, and the pain does not consume and control me. I need him to give me a reason to keep going in spite of the thorn. I need him to help me learn how to live with the thorn, and not live because of the thorn. I need him to release me of the need to focus on the thorn, and instead to have the freedom to focus solely on him.
Paul’s thorn was given to him by God and it was there to stay. I believe we have God-given thorns, and we have thorns we have put in ourselves. Regardless of the reason, the thorns, at least the God-given ones remain. Paul had his thorn when he died. The reality of it never left him, and I’m quite certain the thorn, or the affects of it were not always hidden from others, yet Paul was free indeed.
Freedom is not the absence of things negative, but the eradication of the power to be bound by them, and the release to live beyond them.
Happy International Justice Day – Join me in the Mocha Club
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International Justice Day – 07.17.09
Posted by christine, July 16, 2009
Ideally we’d live in a socially just world where individuals and groups are afforded fair treatment and an impartial share of the benefits of society. But unfortunately, reality paints a different picture.
Today, over 28 million people will be forced to flee their homes because of war. Over 6800 people will be infected with HIV. Right now there are 15 million children who are orphaned by AIDS, with no one to protect them, no one to take care of them.
And we’re not ok with that. International Justice Day has been set aside to observe and promote the advancement of justice, peace, and security throughout the world.
So today we fight.
We use our voices. We speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. We plead on the behalf of brothers and sisters around the world who live in the midst of unfair circumstances. We give a voice to the voiceless.
We use our talents. We spend our time and energy working for others, rather than only for ourselves. We use the gifts and talents we’ve been given to make an impact in the world around us and to promote peace.
And we use our resources. We see how truly blessed we are. We realize how far our money can go to changes lives in Africa. We sacrifice a mocha, or a movie, or a meal out with friends, and give life to those living in the harsh reality of injustice.
Will you join us?
Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” So let’s be that change, together. Let’s be the face of justice.
Chew on this…
So here’s a thought: our fears are learned.
I’m still not sure I know the root of my arachnophobia although I can recount several instances where the loathsome creature scared the snot out me.
John B. Watson really gave us a lot of insight into this sort of thing even though poor little Albert was never the same. Whether it is a creepy crawly thing, a person, or any other unconditioned stimulus, because it was somewhere along the way connected with what is often a negative stimulus, we thus learned (and learn) our fears. Some are insignificant while others hinder our lives in greater ways than we most likely realize often because we’ve lived with them for so long. Once the responses of these conditioned stimuli are internalized we find ourselves overreacting to what anyone else would let roll off their back. An example from my own life follows:
The sound of a garage door opening – harmless, right? No cause for fear or any kind of emotion or reaction for that matter. It is a neutral, or unconditioned stimulus. However, when repeatedly paired with a negative stimulus (my dad’s daily belittling, interrigating, predictably unpredictable anger) my response then become conditioned.
This conditioning doesn’t have to be negative. For one person a garage opening might mean dad is coming home: he will walk in smiling with arms open to give and receive the love from his child he’s missed all day while away at work. Thus the garage opening means love, safety, warmth, happiness.
For me the garage door opening meant dad is coming home: he will walk in with a frown on his angry, weary, wounded face to his child who inevitably screwed something up in the two hours she’s been home from school. There is a glass on the kitchen counter; the dishwasher hasn’t been unloaded; the marks the vacuum leaves on the carpet are perceived to give the impression that the carpet was not thoroughly cleaned; and the TV is on. One or a combination of these dreadful things results in a rarely comprehensible degrading of the daughter he’s been away from all day, yet clearly has not missed. Thus, the sound of a garage door opening elicits, to this day, a sense of dread, of fear that rises up from the depths of my being as I scurry around to check (although I have a hundred times already) if things are just in order the way I think he might like them today.
I hope that one day I can be reconditioned to feel excitement, love, and security when a garage door opening means my husband is coming home to greet me with a hug, a kiss, and genuine, “I missed you. How was your day, baby?”
It isn’t so hard to understand PTSD after all. Never judge ones seemingly irrational or hypersensitive reaction to an event, person, or circumstance by your own neutrality to the situation. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that people do things for reasons. What if, instead of making judgements or telling them to “get over it because it’s not that big a deal” we sought to understand where they’re coming from and walk alongside them in their fear (or anger, or sadness or whatever it may be) we could become the new “stimulus” to that fear (etc.)? What if we could, by our love and understanding, recondition what was so traumatic in ones life to something positive, and bring peace? That is part of what good therapy can do, but ultimately that is what our relationship with God does – if only we give Him the chance.
What fears have you learned? What are you doing to help alleviate someone else’s?
“Do not hold strong opinions about things you do not understand, or wish to understand.”
Another Timely Knapp Tune
There’s a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time.
In the absence of martyrs there’s a presence of thieves
Who only want to rob you blind.
They steal away any sense of peace.
Tho’ I’m a king I’m a king on my knees.
And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong
As the darkness covers me.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There are ghosts from my past who’ve owned more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away.
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed.
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered ’til pallid and thin.
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I’ve let win.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
[ Jennifer Knapp Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me? (5x)
I’ve never been much for the bearing of soul
In the presence of any man.
I’d rather keep to myself all safe and secure
In the arms of a sinner I am.
Could it be that my worth should defend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand?
And like a lamp on a hill Lord I pray in your will
To reveal all of you that I can.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There’s a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time.
Knapp Time
I was in the mood for a little Jennifer Knapp, and upon listening to her I once again realized why I like her so much. I really hope she resurfaces again one day. I’ve heard this song countless times, but today it seemed fresh.
I’ve exhausted every possible solution
I’ve tried every last game there is to play.
In this search for the Christ-like perfection
I’m convinced I’ve only left my God ashamed.
I cry I wonder can He hear my despair.
Afraid to lift my hands afraid He doesn’t care.
And if He answers and I fall again
Can I still be his daughter can I still depend on him?
When I’m down search every
mistake looking for new regrets.
Sometimes I forget, I forget
That His grace is sufficient for me.
That it’s deeper and wider than I can conceive.
His Grace is sufficient for me.
My convictions seem to fade with desperation,
My hope declines with each and every tear.
My sin, an anchor and this grace just an illusion.
The gavels heavy and justice is near.
Up comes the light and finds the stains on my hands.
Up comes my pride, I hide, I know He won’t understand.
Cause it’s deeper than deep and it’s wider than wide.
Why did I ever doubt? Now I’m dying inside.
His grace, His grace is sufficient for me
?
Can anyone help me out with why one of the current top searches leading to my blog is “burning rubber smell in car?”
I guess it’s better than Casey’s “awkward” top search, but still…
